


I've Let This Go On For Far Too Long

by ThoseLastLittleWords



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: I'm sorry if it sucks, M/M, Mentions of Louis/Harry, My First Fanfic, one direction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-02
Updated: 2013-08-01
Packaged: 2017-12-04 02:50:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/705674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThoseLastLittleWords/pseuds/ThoseLastLittleWords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam Payne has hidden his feelings for Zayn Malik since X-Factor. </p><p>Zayn Malik has harbored deeply rooted feelings for Liam Payne since X-Factor but he doesn't want to accept them. </p><p>They don't and won't let the other know. </p><p>It changes though, when Zayn Malik comes home for 2 weeks higher and drunker every time. Each night he lets words filled with more feeling and emotions than he wants. </p><p>They've both let this go on for far too long.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. it's only the start

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic that I think I'm actually going to stick with. It's not complete, but I just wanted to go ahead and post it so that I can see if anyone reads it or even likes it. It started off being based on the song "White Blank Page" by Mumford and Sons, but I'm not too sure if I'm going to continue on that path! Anyways, I hope you like it. 
> 
> xx, A

Liam sat on his bed reading his book again for the 2nd time this week, he checked the clock to see that it was already 3:42 am and Zayn has yet to come back to the hotel. 5 hours and 12 minutes ago Zayn left the hotel room he shared with Liam and said he was “going out”. That’s all he said and left Liam to think about the many places Zayn could be, and the many people he could be with. Zayn always left suddenly and crept back in when he thought Liam was sleeping, smelling of vodka, weed, and a hint of the musky cologne he’s worn since they met. Liam never liked the situation, but he wasn’t about to rat Zayn out to management, or even to the other boys because truth be told he cared for Zayn, and he wouldn’t want to ruin what seemed to be the only thing that ever brought him happiness.

  
Zayn and Liam are part of the world famous boyband One Direction, they’re 2 of 5 members. Niall, Liam, Harry, Louis, and Zayn, they’re known across the world and have very little privacy. They were formed in 2010 after all individually auditioning for X-Factor UK. They ended up coming in 3rd on the show, but Simon Cowell took them in and gave them a contract. They instantly blew up, everywhere. It’s now 2013 and they’re still going strong. They’re all still best friends even after spending the last 3 years constantly together, they’re doing something they all love and that brings them close together.

  
Liam finally decides to get up and walk to the bathroom to wash his face, he checks the clock again to see that only 4 minutes have passed and it is now 3:46 am. As Liam approached the mirror he looked at his reflection and considered it. He could see how these late nights were getting to him, his eyes were more shallow and tired, he seemed to move in slow motion, and even his personality had become less peppy and happy when his best friend had turned to alcohol and drugs instead of him. Liam turned on the cold water and rubbed his hands in face with it. He turned off the water and started drying his hands when he heard the door open. Liam peaked out through the door to see Zayn worse than ever before.

  
"Zayn, you alright mate? You've been out, yeah?" Liam looked at Zayn as if nothing had been wrong, but Zayns usually perfect hair was all over the place, he smelled of a mixture of alcohol and drugs. His leather jacket was slumped across his arms and his jeans were wrinkled and baggy compared to fitted and ironed.

"H-hhi Lee-eyum, I'm-m gr-great! Come oo-ver here” Liam watched as Zayn stumbled his way over to Liam. Liam didn’t like to see this Zayn. He was a wreck, he was a mess, and Liam felt the need to take care of him since he’s allowed this to continue for so long.

“Zayn, come on, what are you doing, mate?” Liam wrapped his arm around Zayn’s waist and guided him to the bed.

“Lee- _yum_ , I do-on’t want to g-o to b-bed wi-ith out y-you” Liam stopped then and looked at Zayn, his chiseled face, now hung low looking sloppy and he held a lazy smile. Liam knew that the sober Zayn was lost in the depth of this gross, wasted Zayn.

“You’re not thinking right, mate. You need to go to sleep and sober up, we have interviews tomorrow.” Liam laid Zayn down on the bed and took his shoes off, then his belt and lastly his jacket before rolling the covers over him.

As soon, as Zayn rolled over he could hear the soft snore of him knocked out. Liam walked over and got into his own bed, but didn’t go to bed. He laid there thinking about Zayn’s words, how much actual meaning there might have been behind them, if Zayn knew what he was saying, because those simple words brought out feelings Liam had been trying to hid for a long time, since they started X-Factor, he felt in love with Zayn, but there wasn’t anything Liam could do about it because Zayn made it clear he was straight, perfectly clear.


	2. That's Not How It Is

3 hours later, Zayn and Liam both woke up to the annoying beeping of the alarm clock, Liam awoke feeling tired and groggy, but knowing he had to get up and get ready for the many interviews they had that day. He walked over to the bathroom and started the shower, leaving the alarm clock ringing for Zayn to stop when he woke. When Zayn got up he had a rumbling in his stomach and a pounding in his head. He sat up from the bed and looked around, he didn't recognize where he was until he heard Liam’s voice ringing through the room. He slapped the alarm clock until it finally cut off, slung his legs over the side of the bed and rubbed his head. Zayn had no recollection of the previous nights events, he only knew that he was suffering from a major hangover and that he had to fix it up in an hour for their first interview. Zayn had manage to change out of his clothes, throw them to the floor, and get a new outfit ready to wear by the time Liam had gotten out of the shower.

“How you feeling, Zayn?” Liam mumbled while combing his hair and fixing it.  
“Oh, I’ve definitely been better, but I can’t remember anything from last night,” Zayn looked into the same mirror as Liam. As Zayn started to attempt to fix his hair, Liam looked down. Since Zayn didn’t remember anything, he didn’t remember what he had said to Liam. He expected it, but a little sliver of his mind still had hope that Zayn meant what he said. He had to have that slim thread of hope that maybe Zayn did love Liam, but that's not how it is. 

Liam left the hotel room the heavy weight of knowing last nights events. He went about his day going through the motions and not putting forth any effort or actual thought. Liam was lost in the depths of his own mind. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that he wanted nothing more than to know that Zayn meant what he said, that Zayn wanted to be with him as much as he wanted to be with Zayn, but that's not how it is.

Liam checked in early, wanting to try and escape the thoughts that have been eating away at him. He sat on the plain, blank hotel bed staring at the off white ceiling. He wanted to not be the only one that remembered last night, he wanted to not be falling in love with his best friend. Liam didn’t know what he was going to do. He was still lost in thought as laughter echoed through the halls of hotel and slowly neared the room Liam was sitting in. As the door unlocked and opened, Liam went on instinct and approached the still smiling man closing the door behind. 

As Zayn turned around, Liam put both his hands on either side of the shorter boy’s head so he was trapped between Liam's body and the door and crashed their lips together. Their tongues exploring the others mouth, slowly and with grace. They moved to the bed and both started undressing, first with the shirts, then the trousers until the both of them were standing in nothing but their briefs, but thats not how it is and that’s not how it happened.

What actually happened was that, Liam got up and snapped out of his daydream as soon as Zayn closed the door behind him. “How was the rest of the evening?” Liam looked to Zayn, trying to read him and his emotions all at once. “It was fine, nothing special. We went around to different shops that Paul had gotten cleared for us, but it wasn’t anything else. Why’d you come back to the room?” Zayn didn’t sound anything, but neutral. He spoke while taking off his shoes and trousers, until the last question he paused in the middle of his actions. Liam looked to Zayn again, “Wasn’t feeling too well, but I’ve taken some Ibuprofen and seem to be a bit better” Liam smiled because he has been feeling better, Zayn seems okay and this could be his little treasure he can keep for now, all to himself. “Well, we missed you today, Li. We’re glad you’re feeling better.” Zayn spoke with a lightness in his voice that made Liam think that maybe that “we” was an “I” and maybe that’s really how it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I am so terribly sorry that it has been 4 months since I posted the first chapter. I honestly did not intend for that, but I liked the way it worked out because I don't think I would have actually come up with the way I wrote this chapter. I'm still not too sure in which direction this story is actually going to take, but I'm excited. I would enjoy feedback a ton, so I know what y'all think of this! 
> 
> xx, A


End file.
